I say all of this because, what I am finding is that so many people, especially women, have been an “us” for so long, that to even think about going anywhere by themselves is a dreadful thought. Ok, so maybe not a week long vacation, but what about the movies? How many times have you missed seeing a movie because your partner didn’t want to see that particular movie. So you missed out because you wouldn’t dare go to the theater alone. My girlfriend told me that going to the movie theater alone was for lonely people; a bit of a loser experience. Many people feel the same way about going to lunch/dinner alone. I would like to say that I’ve experienced all of the above, and the experience is what you make it.

If you are at the theater or a restaurant  paying attention to every couple that comes in and the fact that you are alone, then YES, YOU WILL FEEL LONELY. But you have to change that experience. If it’s a movie, go during the daytime instead of during busy evening/weekend shows. You’ll find many people go to the movies by themselves during the day (not to say that they are single, just viewing the movie alone). You’ll always find that your movie watching experience is nicer because the theater is less crowded and much more peaceful. Ok, so what about dinner alone? Sounds like a loser idea, right. Wrong, you just have to change the experience a bit. When I dine alone, I always have the latest copy of the City Paper in tow or a magazine that I’ve been waiting to read. So when you get to the table, you have something to do while waiting on your meal and less time to focus on what’s going on around you.

The most important thing that I’m trying to get at is the fact that we need to be more in touch with ourselves. What if that long term relationshp we’ve been apart of for soooo long finally comes to an end?  I mean, God forbid, but what if it does and the last 10 years of your life has been identified as an “us”? If this should happen, going anywhere alone feels like the most depressing thing known to man. So I say, whether you’re in a relationship or not, married or just dating, take time for yourself, by yourself. Go do something ALONE. No husband or boyfriend, don’t call the gang of girlfriends, JUST YOU.  I believe everyone should have some
“ME-time”. Make it a movie, or a pedicure, or a mini-vacation, or simply dinner at a table for 1. It can be a calming experience. It’s time to clear your mind, to not be forced to have conversation, time to get closer to God, or time to just sit back and focus on where your life is going. But the point is, every now and then, there should be some “ME-time” and not always “US-time”. You need to keep a little piece of your own identity.

Photo courtesy of images.google.com

Cut it off…Let it go, start a new
Find someone who loves you
Cut it off…..life’s too short
That’s how the healing starts….

- Tarrus Riley 

 Why are relationships so hard? Why do WE make things so much harder than they have to be? Why can’t life and relationships be so simple? Well, I’ve come to think that going thru bad, unfulfilling relationships are God’s way of leading you to the more fulfilling, enjoyable relationships that are meant for us…that is when we let Him take control and lead us to and through these relationships.

I recently have been lead to question some of the friendships in my life, the relationship I have with my partner, and past relationships with friends and lovers that have come and gone. Yet, I am left wondering why some were put into my life to cause such heartache and why others that made me so happy were taken away from me. At the same time, I have been brought to really appreciate some relationships that I had somewhat overlooked. I’ve had old friends to re-enter my life, and at this time in my life, they have been there for me as if we had never parted. I have also experienced friends, that I held very dear to my heart, to really break my heart, and make me realize that they were never really genuine from the beginning. I guess we live and we learn.

Today, join me in examining the relationships that surround you. I want to get rid of the dead relationships and “Start A New”. We are often reflections of the people with which we surround ourselves….you know the saying “birds of a feather, flock together”. So, stand back and examine your flock. Are they positive or do they breed negativity? Can you see “The God in Them” or do they spit deadly venom? Are they encouraging you to reach the next level or do they continue to pull you down into the bucket?

What advice to you have to share on how to grow and maintain positive relationships with men, women, friends, lovers, marriages?

Photo courtesy of fotosearch.com

We are in tough times financially and there are many who are without jobs. For those of us with jobs, many aren’t thinking about moving up in our current fields, we are just content with having a job. Well I for one have never been the type of person to just be content.  I am always striving to be better at my job and to improve my work surroundings. Unfortunately, since taking a job after college, I have never worked at one place long enough to reap the benefits of “moving up” in a company. I’ve had small accomplishments acknowledged by management, pay increases along the way, but I’ve never achieved a management level position in a company. This has been due in part to being laid off after 9-11 events, then changing from a career in IT to become a professional hairstlylist and then back to IT.

• I chose someone that was a veteran to the company/project
• I chose someone that has a good work ethic
• I chose someone that is viewed favorably by other team members
• I chose someone with whom I have established a positive relationship

• Learn new things and help you have a better understanding of current assignments/projects
• Become a Subject-Matter-Expert for your team
• As a veteran employee, they better undertstand how to assist you in creating a clear path to achieve management goals
• Having  feedback from someone trustworthy can help your decision-making process in the work environment

Photo Courtesy of AskMen.com

Well, I guess the title of this post is pretty self-explanatory. I’ve seen several of my mom-clients in the last week or so and I’ve been pushing this phrase alot. But don’t get it twisted, this isn’t just a phrase for the moms. This is my shout out to all of us ladies who have been putting work/kids/husbands before themselves.  It’s time to set aside some time for yourself and rediscover your beauty.

I just had my second child and what a number it has done on me, physically and mentally. I actually have lost quite a bit of weight in this first month with breastfeeding, but I still have a long ways to go to fit comfortably into my size 6 jeans. But its not just about the size 6… I want my nice skin tone back, I want my hair styled on a regular basis, I want manicures and pedicures on a regular….I want to throw out every piece of clothing that I own and go shopping for a whole new wardrobe and shoes. Of course, these things can’t be done or put into the schedule overnight, but these are my “Bring Sexy Back” goals. It’s like, I don’t want that mom thing going on….you see some women, especially moms, when they step out in public, they either look like they just rolled out of bed or their look is so behind in the times, you just want to give them a fashion police ticket and get them a makeover. 

So now is the time to try a new workout regimen, go get that new haircut that you thought only Rihanna could rock, go shopping for a few new trendy pieces to add to your closet and cut out the Mc Donald’s & Chic-fil-a so you can have the skin and bodies that you want. Although these are all superficial things, they are all things that help to build a woman’s confidence. When you look good, you feel good & confident and when you feel confident you will make confident decisions in your daily life. I strongly believe all of these little things help to maintain a positive well-being.

 What goals have you set to help “Bring Sexy Back”? What changes are you making to reveal a sexier, more confident YOU?

http://www.geeksugar.com" width="261" height="300" />

Photo courtesy of http://www.geeksugar.com

As a busy mom and wife, there is usually very little time left for me. So I can no longer meet up with the girls for happy hour, keep up with great music and spend hours in the record store buying cds, or decide next week to up and take a trip just because I feel like it… atleast I can no longer do these things on a whim the way I used to when I was single with no children in-tow. I have to admit, I do feel a bit of nostalgia when I think back to those days. I used to enjoy life more or maybe in a different way. Don’t get me wrong,  I love my family, but once you’ve got a family, you kind of lose yourself between the kids, your husband and your neverending chores.

Oprah recommends that if you want to feel alive again, you should create a “What I Enjoy” list. It’s a list of things that you love to do or things you used to enjoy doing….it’s just to make you aware that there are things in the world that do make you feel alive. They recommend that you make time to do something you enjoy at least once a week, do it and help yourself feel alive in that moment. Sounds good to me.

I think the things I miss the most are concerts and long distance travel. Actually I’ve still managed to go to a concert here and there, so I’m not totally deprived. But I was pissed that being 8 months pregnant,  I recently had to miss out on seeing Raphael Saadiq because I’ve been waiting at least 5 years for him to come back to Washington, DC since his last concert .  As for travel a 3 1/2 hour trip from Puerto Rico with my 1 year old last year sold me on the fact that I will take  no trips longer than 2 hours until my kids are atleast 4. I’m sure I don’t even have to explain, because I’m sure you’ve had atleast one plane ride sitting near the screaming kid.

Now, its a new day… a busy life with kids. So I am learning to create a new “What I Enjoy” list. Yes, I still try to shop at my favorite record store because I could never enjoy life without music. Instead of heading to the movie theater, I am a fan of “On Demand” and the local “Redbox” for movies…not to mention its far cheaper than running to the movie theater every week. I love spending time with my kids, do I’ve added evening walks and trips to the neighborhood park to watch them enjoy themselves. It’s quite rewarding to see them smile. I’ve also become a D.I.Y.-er. I live for HGTV and DIY TV. I love to take on little home improvement projects.

What about you? What things are on your “What I Enjoy” list? What do you do to relax? What activities helped you to “find yourself”?

I read a book about Rastafarian culture, “RASTAFARI: A Way of Life” by Tracy Nichols/Bill Sparrow. One of the things that I totally admire about the Rastafarian lifestyle is their Ital eating regimen. Rastas believe man should eat agridishes. “Agridishes”, or foods which grow from the earth, are ital- total or natural- foods. They are foods that are not contaminated or denatured by any processing, additions, or deletions.

Foods that grow from the earth.

As a Northeastern American, that wasn’t raised on a farm, the difficulty in being a vegetarian is staying focused and coming up with an exciting menu.  I eat plenty of fruits, but I’m quite picky with my veggies. Actually, I’m a picky eater in general and preparation time is limited for me these days, so maintaining a vegetarian diet seems quite difficult to me. But I’m sure if I reorganize my life, I could come up with some great recipes that take less prep time because you don’t have to worry about the long cooking process of meat. I guess I have no excuse . Then there’s the focus. It’s hard to go grocery shopping when you are immediately bombarded with chips, sodas and loads of snacks as you enter the door and on the corner of every aisle.  Uggghhhhh, FOCUS MAN………………………

Seeing as though I have tons of weight to lose from my last pregnancy and my family has a history of diabetes, thyroid problems and hypertension, I guess I need to gradually make my way to a vegetarian lifestyle.  MAINTAINING YOU begins inside and a healthy inside will lead to a healthy and glowing outside. So I guess its time to make some changes.

Are you practicing a vegan or vegetarian eating regimen? Has it been difficult to maintain? What health benefits have you noticed or experienced?

With all of that being said, as a part of my “New Lease on Life”, today I am committing to better health. I still have a few weeks before I can do any hardcore working out….waiting on the doctor’s 6-week check-up, but that doesn’t mean I can’t go for a nice walk and cut out my daily Pepsi. For those who know me well, you know during this whole pregnancy, I committed to doing anything necessary to lose all of this weight that I gained in producing Princess Marley. To put it out there, my final weight before birth was a whopping 190 lbs. “OH GOSH”!!!!!! From 2 weeks ago, I have lost alot (visibly, but I haven’t gotten on the scale yet). But I have a long ways to go to get to my ideal weight of 135-140 lbs. Hopefully with a lot of focus and the help of my dear friend/trainer Paula Reis, I will lose this weight hopefully before my 33rd birthday in September. I’ll update you with my weight in a few weeks….I am waiting until my first check-up to see how much I’ve lost since giving birth….and how much further I still have to go to reach my goal….I’ll keep you posted.

Are any of you having weight challenges? What goals have you set to shed the pounds? How do you overcome your “hunger/snacking” challenges?

So I sat myself down recently to “get a new lease on life“. Now I am actually taking time to create a budget, trying to build an emergency fund, researching college savings funds, life insurance, & side businesses, trying to rediscover what “relaxation” means, while also trying to consistently include God in my life. What a balancing act… to which many of you can also relate.

So if you decide to keep up with my blog….you will see what’s going on with me from day-to-day, the new people, places & things that I discover along the way and hopefully you can get a laugh, a lesson or put me on to something new. I hope you enjoy what’s to come. G’day